One week

       One week until the due date. I feel like a week is far too long to wait and way too short a time to be prepared. But I don't think I'll ever feel really prepared. Our little girl just keeps growing. At the last appointment the doctor said she is measuring bigger than average, but not "scary big" he said. I don't think he realized that the word "big" associated with something that you are going to have to push out of your body is going to be frightening no matter what. But she seems healthy and that is all that matters. Sleep has turned more and more elusive as the weeks stretch on, which is probably why I finally came down with a nasty cold. I hope I get over it before she decides it is time to see the wide wide world. I can only imagine the fun of labor when I can't breathe, have a hacking cough, and a sinus headache. Even more, I want to hold our precious child without worrying that I will get her sick.
       I feel like I should have so much to say...about pregnancy, about what lies ahead, about anything, but I guess for me 9 months still isn't long enough for me to wrap my head around everything. I thought after all those long months I'd know everything I needed to about labor and babies and breastfeeding and being a mother, but it turns out I don't know anything. I need to be pushed into the pool before I can learn to swim I guess. The more I learn the more I realize that you really can't totally prepare. You never know what your experience is going to be like. So I am going to do what I can and then accept that I am NOT prepared, but trust myself that I have the strength to handle what comes, and the faith to walk forward into the unknown.